I am a nerd

reading time: ca. ∞ min

hello friend,

i am a nerd.

(Grab a cup of hot cocoa or a snack 'cause you're gonna be here for a while. or maybe you'll run off screaming instantly. i apologize. 'cause i am going to ramble BIG time. so, nerd-alert, i guess.)

I am talking about a true nerd here. Not one of these sexy-smart, arrogant skinny peeps with their fake glasses and messy buns, their hippie skirts and biker boots. (sorry, not hating if you one of them :)
No, i am talking about the real, the true, pure geeky kind of nerdiness. The kind where you have watched and re-watched Lord of the Rings every single year for as long as you can remember. The kind where you teared up just from hearing the film's theme melody*. The kind where you actually read all 1000-something pages of the book. Or listened to the Harry Potter audio books until the cassette tapes ripped apart. Or are able to quote Star Wars even at three o'clock in the morning. Or have played the Dr Who drinking game. Or know what all of these symbols mean.
(although, i must say they should replace the arrow by a lightsaber. but you can't have everything, can you?)

Oh yes, i am a geeky girl.

The object of my nerdiness: The Lord of the Rings. story of my life, literally. 
Thinking myself back to my childhood, one of my most vivid and imprinting memories is the one of my Dad reading the Lord of the Rings to me. i must have been about 8 or so years old, when we started, and i remember being cuddled up under my blanket every night and waiting for my Dad to further take me through Middle-earth alongside Frodo and his fellowship. 

Also, i remember not having my parents' permission to go see the first film because i was still too young. Interestingly enough, i never thought of the movies as being brutal (until my best friend pointed it out to me after a few years), which is probably a rather strange attitude for a girly, barbie-loving twelve-year-old, but it honestly never even crossed my mind that it could be a disturbing image to see Orcs getting their skulls split, just as i never perceived Gimli chopping off Orc heads, as it is described in the books, as brutal. 

For me, the story of the ring wasn't about war and bloodshed. as i see it, it is about courage and loyalty, human weakness and strength and various forms of love.
The outward conflict with the Orcs and Sauron i didn't care about all that much. what fascinated me - and still fascinates me - is their inner battle rather than the one on the battlefield. Everyone has to fight out their own inner conflict, whether it's Gandalf, Frodo, Sam, Aragorn, Boromir, Faramir, Eowyn, Theoden, Arwen, Gollum or Galadriel.
After that, in my early teens, i was super obsessed with anything LOTR. Back then i used to consider myself a not-so-typical teenager, since i wasn't obsessed with any band, but let's face it: i was a frickin teenie fan girl. i plastered my walls with posters from Elijah Wood, Orlando Bloom, Tom Felton and Daniel Radcliffe, collected pictures from the movies in a huge folder, actors' autographs, bookmarks, collection figures, the Elvish dictionary - geez, i even owned a legit Elven Leaf Brooch made of sterling silver, and also an elven cloak that my grandma had hand-sewn for me. wow, yeah. insane, isn't it? i also recall wanting to buy myself Arwen's Evenstar Necklace and Galadriel's ring Nenya, which both cost a fortune, for a teenage girl anyway. Luckily i didn't though, and i ended up selling my silver brooch because i needed the money :'D
As i grew older, i got rid of most of these things. The last thing i kept was this Frodo/Elijah autograph:

Okay, i admit it, i also kept my big ring binder full of pictures (#gettit? ring binder, ha ha. yeh, it's bad, i know). But the rest i threw out over time. Promise.
The only thing that is still with me is my love for the Lord of the Rings. Having re-read the books this summer, i can say, i still feel very passionate about the legend of the ring. And still to this day i watch the whole entire trilogy once a year, typically around Christmas time, the Extended Version of course. i'm not a fanatic any more, like i was as a kid, but i still get super excited about my annual LOTR night and cry my eyes out and sit there sobbing into my snuggle blanket, while the credits are rolling down my monitor screen. Yeah, that's my life. 
Maybe it's the fact that i grew up with Frodo and Sam by my side, but - is it a foolish thing to say i feel a deep connection to the story? There's just something inside me that is undeniably touched by it.
Call me crazy, or a crybaby. i dunno, i'm just slightly obsessed with it, i guess.

Can we just talk about Frodo for a minute (or ten)?
Aside from the fact that Elijah Wood is an absolute sweetheart (both cutie and hottie, haha my heart melts away when it comes to Frodo (i even think, my very first childhood crush was Frodo/Elijah. oh my...). He has the most innocent, vulnerable face. Just look at these blue piercing eyes. Don't you just love his sad, suffering, sensitive smile?

Also, he and Bilbo share a birthday on September 22nd, so one day after my own birthday, Sept 21st. i somehow sort of almost might feel a bit proud of that. perhaps. (#geez, girl!)

Now, what i probably love most about Frodo is the friendship between him and Sam. It is the most beautiful bond i have yet seen between two human beings (or hobbits in this case). i don't really want to call it a "bromance", as everybody seems to looove labelling male friendships nowadays, because as i see it, it is so much more than that. These two connects a deep, caring, understanding love. As a child i never understood why, near the end of the movie, they didn't fall into each others arms while everyone else was rejoicing and embracing each other. i wanted them to hug so bad! But now, now i am glad they didn't. Their friendship is deeper than hugs. They went through so much together, and would give their life for one another, they do not need words or gestures to express their understanding for each other.

(+++ here might be a sketch of frodo's face if i get to it someday :'D +++)

I think what i love even more - if that's even possible - than the deep connection between the characters in the movie, is the love amongst the cast members. they are such a big awesome family, it almost hurts to watch.For example, you h a v e to watch this brilliant prank interview by Dominic Monaghan who tricks his friend Elijah into thinking he is interviewed by a German journalist:

Oh sweet Jesus. i've watched this video three times already, and each time i have to laugh so hard my tummy aches :') just watch it, please. For Elijah's gorgeous laugh alone, it's just beautiful.

Now, enough raving about hobbits! i could go on and on about this... but i'm craving some Lord of the Rings now. So let the epic journey begin!

media sources: (LOTR wallpaper) (frodo's face) (prank interview) (smile gif)

* by the way, the entire soundtrack is absolutely stunning. guess what i'm listening to right now :)

Oh, and a happy 2. Advent!

Even the smallest person can change the course of the future. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien


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  1. 'Their friendship is deeper than hugs' gave me a goose flesh. So true!!

  2. I love nerds. I found you on Freedom Fridays Blog Hop, and I'm going to follow you. Deep breath.....don't freak out.....I've never seen Lord of the Rings....horrible I know. See, I didn't say that I am a nerd, only that I love nerds. My little brother can quote those books line for line, though, and one day I really am going to stay home and watch the movies.

    1. Thank you so much for following me, April! Your comment made me laugh :') i can't believe you actually enjoyed this even though you're not into Lord of the Rings! just in case you do get to watch it someday: don't think it's going to be like the Hobbit that you see in cinemas everywhere. (not the biggest fan of the Hobbit ;)) It is com-ple-te-ly different.
      Anyways, have a lovely 3rd Advent! ~


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